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Right now, I’m half watching Legally Blonde 2 on the telly. It’s so silly but SO watchable. I love Elle Woods! Is that who I should model my work-self on?

Anyway back to reality - I had another job interview on Tuesday and hopefully I will hear back tomorrow. Here I am, dressed for success:

Today, I wanted to sew another work-worthy shirt but I discovered I hadn’t prewashed the fabric I had in mind so I had a small delay while I threw it in the washer and dryer. As I was all set for some sewing, I looked around for what else I had - most of my fabric is washed and dried as soon as I buy it so that I can be ready when the mood strikes. I ended up sewing this tunic style top based on a pattern in one of my Japanese books.

Not a great photo, but here is a close up of the fabric. I bought this a while ago from an op shop (thrift store) and it started life as curtains! There is a dark green leaf motif and the background is a fawn colour honeycomb pattern. I just love it.

Today, Emma called out to me “Mum come and see! I got an email on my computer!” I knew she had been sitting at the table with some craft supplies and so I went out to find this:

See the egg carton keyboard (with letters drawn on) and the notepaper screen (with an animal sticker playing the part of the onscreen email picture). Notice the eraser for a mouse, on it’s notepaper mouse pad. Especially notice how happy she is with herself. Indulge me - here is another shot of the laptop.

Good to know the geekiness is rubbing off on her.

Okay then… I’m gonna get back to some regular crafty posting now I promise. So what’s been happening? Well, after my last post, I have gotten still more used to the idea and I am excited about re-entering the workforce again. I have grieved over the loss of some aspects of my life as it is now (ie. my identity as a stay-at-home mum and my plans for my business) and I have done a lot of thinking about things, yes including these little people.

I spent a lot of time last week at job sites like SEEK, checking their part-time job listings and working on my resume and all of that. I have applied for about six jobs so far. One in particular sounded like a great job with the right (school-friendly) hours and I got a call from the employment agency to go in to see them for a chat and then had to do a bunch of online tests - typing speed/accuracy, Word and Excel proficiency, psychometry tests. Things were looking really positive and I was told that there were only two others being sent for interview with the company and I was a very strong candidate. I went for an interview the next day (Thursday) and waited (nonchalantly) by the phone half the afternoon!

The job was to be filled urgently with the person starting next Tuesday so they would let us know the same afternoon. Unfortunately at the end of the day, I heard back that I had missed out (by THIS much!) and so that was the end of that. Claire at the agency did tell me that I was very employable and they would be sure to place me soon, so I guess it’s back to hanging out at SEEK next week. It was a shame but (using all the cliches here) it was great experience, good practice for an interview, good to get so far, etc and I will just keep trying.

(Slim fit pants from self-drafted pattern, needs some tweaking but not too bad.  Everything else in the outfit has been thrifted/op shopped.)

I have to be honest here - I have been surprised to discover that one reason to be excited about going out to work is the chance to dress up a little every day. I have realised that even though I always try to look respectable and make an effort, dressing for home and looking after kids is a whole different thing to dressing for the office. I have been devoting too much daydreaming (sorry, Visualisation) time thinking about wearing outfits like this every day: black tulip skirt, fitted blouse (maybe with a Peter Pan collar or little cap sleeves) topped with a charcoal grey sweater and (especially) Mary Jane heels. I don’t know where this is coming from! I guess maybe I am sick of jeans and a tshirt. You can have too much of a good thing!

The upshot is that I am going to have to do some career-outfit sewing! YAY! First up are some cute little shirts. I have a bunch of patterns and fabrics in my little (haha) collection and I am hoping to start on one tomorrow. Before I begin sewing anything though I had to do some slimming down of Pinny, my dressform. Yes, I have been very quiet here about the weight loss project, but I have been eating well and going to the gym regularly for a few months now. My weight has been steadily dropping and it has made a big difference. I have lost 5 kilos (10 pounds) so far but more importantly, lots of cms have fallen off everywhere!

(stuffing taken out of Pinny)

Nerd alert! Up until now I have been keeping my track of my measurements (bust, waist and tummy) on a scrappy bit of paper - today I decided to go high tech and put them into Excel. Then I went a little crazy and turned it into a GRAPH. I know, a bit dorky but hey, whatever works right? Here are some stats to impress you:

High Bust (blue) now 9cm or 3 1/2″ smaller (this is a measurement taken under the armpits, above the girls)

Full Bust (pink) now 11cm or 4 1/2″ smaller (I’m sure you know what this one is)

Waist (orange) now 7cm or 2 3/4″ smaller (this is the natural waist)

High Hip (green) now 6cm or 2 1/2″ smaller (a charming name for the full tummy)

It is amazing how much of a difference 5 kgs (10 pounds) can make! I am loving the smaller bust size - DD to D. Off-the-rack clothes fit so much better now, and most of the tops I sewed a few months ago already look too big on me. A good problem to have though and an excuse for more sewing! Going to the gym has been great and I walk Elsie for 20 mins almost every evening too. There’s still lots more room to improve - for my BMI to get into the healthy range I still need to lose another 15 or so kgs (35 pounds). Slowly but steadily, I’ll get there.

Change is hard. Just thinking about it has been doing my head in lately. I have been doing so much thinking about where I am going and what I want to do, and what my role is and all of that lately, and some days I was full of so much anxiety and uncertainness that I just couldn’t think any more. I know I have been withdrawing from things and people lately but I hope that I am over the worst of it now.

Sorry, you probably have no idea what I am talking about here! In a nutshell, I need to get a job - a part time job outside of the home, probably in an office. I will need to work to someone else’s timetable and to do list and sadly, leave the at home mum life behind. I haven’t had a proper job in eight years. It is very scary to be contemplating going out to work but the fact of the matter is that with the economy the way it is (home loans keep going up and up and up) I don’t have a whole lot of choice about this as things are getting tighter and it’s not looking like it will improve any time soon.

Running my own home business over the last five years (along with raising children) has meant that I have faced and overcome many challenges and that I feel in touch with the world of work at least, even though going out into that world on their terms is another thing entirely. I have gained many employable skills through motherhood, community work and small business as well and I am very glad that I kept my hand in, now that it comes time to update the ol’ resume.

I feel a lot of sadness about having to leave my business behind, at least for a while. It is so ironic that this comes just as my youngest has started two days a week at Preschool this year, finally giving me more time to devote to the business. This year and particularly next year (when everybody was in school) was going to be the time that I hoped to really get Red Instead going and see what I could do with it once I had real time to devote to it. I am very sad that I can’t do this after all, but truthfully part of me is a little relieved to be stepping back from all that hard work.

Those of you who are running your own home business know that there are so many, many roles to fill - from materials sourcer and buyer, pattern designing, cutting, sewing, packaging, labelling, marketing, sales repping, retailing, budgeting, accounting, etc etc. I guess compared to all that, going out to work will be easy and I will be getting paid a whole lot better for my time to boot!

I’m also worried about time management - we will need to be a lot more organised with boring things like housework and shopping and washing eating into precious free time.  I’m really concerned that there won’t be any time left for me to make things, whether it’s art or sewing - though I see some new work clothes to sew in my future!  I am looking for a part time job so it won’t be as bad as it could be, but the new arrangements will take a lot of getting used to and a lot of compartmentalising I guess.  Yes, I know it will get easier as we get into it and find our way but right now, there’s a lot to think about.

Another reason to be torn about the decision is of course my children. Even though they are growing bigger and more independent now, I always want to be there for them and for me that meant not making the time commitment of taking a job outside the home. I wasn’t a frustrated career girl who couldn’t wait to get back to work when her children were small. I was very happy to give things up to be there for them and with them all the time. I love being an at home mum and I have never felt closer to my community than when being home with children, delighting in the simple things and connecting to other women doing a similar thing.

And now that is all set to change and I have to look for a job! I am really hoping that I can hold out and find something that really fulfils me and that it has a creative element to it. In my 20s I worked for nearly 10 years at a series of office jobs that were so mind numbingly boring and irrelevant to me and it sends you half mad. This time around I am going to try to find something I enjoy and care about, and it will be interesting to see myself at work now, at 38 and a mum of 3, and more in charge of myself and my life.

Slowly the anxiety is giving way to a small amount of excitement at this new stage of my life, while still mourning the passing of the stage that I have so enjoyed being in for the last eight years. I’ll keep you posted…

I have been a bit slack. You see, there is a new member of my family that you haven’t met yet. We have another baby but she has four legs and extremely big pointy ears! Yes, we got a puppy for Christmas!!!

 

Her name is Little Miss Something Else - but we call her Elsie! 

 

She is the cutest thing and we all love her to bits!  She is a Jack Russell, though I believe those incredible ears may give away that she isn’t purebred.  We’re not sure about her exact parentage but we do know that she is extremely gorgeous!